I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
