The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
