those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize