i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
