think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
