:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize