what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
