Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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