.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
