He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
