GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
