Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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