How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
