It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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