Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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