she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
