I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
