I swear she didn't look like that last week.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
