If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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