Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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