Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
