i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
