playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
