have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you win again, gameday.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
