i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
