Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
