These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
