He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
