Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my shit smells like andre
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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