Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
