i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
