guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
