They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
