I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
