I feel like abortions should bother me more
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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