Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
