Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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