I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
