I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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