Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize