MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
