shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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