Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
