carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
