In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
