Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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