DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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