and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
