my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How external is "for external use only"?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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