Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
