Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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