why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
