Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
