You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
