I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize