he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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