It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
