Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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