i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
