I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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