Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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