For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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