We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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