Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
