Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
