she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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