Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
