That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
