I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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