Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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