went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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