No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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