it hurts more in the daytime
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
