Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize