Me too!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will be naked everywhere
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
