Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
