We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
