So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
