All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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