I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
