HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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