make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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