I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
